Allen and I are giving this a shot. <3
It was mostly his idea, I thought we were done.

I have a beautiful BEAUTIFUL amazing magical awesome baby girl. She's 4 months and she's a blast.

You truthfully have no idea what love is until you have children. It's overwhelming and big and fluffy...

Also, I live in Savannah. Allen, Emma and I live in a cozy apartment and we're doing well. I'm not going to pretend we have everything we want or anything, but we have everything we need.
Allen, as it turns out, is a great dad and a great help. He helps me one million times more than I thought he ever would. I just thought men had the predisposition to keep a distance from women and their babies.
Allen is different.

I'm grateful for his care and COULD NOT do this on my own (babies, amazing as they may be, are also a DISASTER when they want to be).

As far as Allen and I?
We are doing very well. I still have my demons and I think he knows that. It's going to take some time until we can get back to they way we were before. He knows I have serious trust issues with him and he knows that it's going to have to take time. Meanwhile, I still think about how I felt and how alone I was last winter/spring...
I get so angry and upset. He understands and he has apologized and admitted his mistakes and done pretty much all he can do.
It's all in me now, but I'm only human.

What else?
Barack Obama is now our president (elect).
I'm way to cynical to believe in ANYONE anymore, but I honestly hopes he prevails. It's only fair.

I'm writing this at 4am because I had coffee way too late last night.
Allen wants to go to a play tonight but I have anxiety about leaving the baby with one of my friends. It's not that I don't trust them, I just...
I'VE NEVER LEFT HER WITH NON-FAMILY BEFORE.

I knew this day would come. I just have to know everything will be fine.

... O_O